There’s no place like Nigeria.

I’ve got a good feeling about this one.

From:”donald kaberuka” presidentafdb1@yahoo.co.uk
Subject: Fund Release
To: ch.redwood

Desk of the PresidentAfrican Development Bank, (WWW.AFDB.ORG)No 12 Tinubu Square Lagos-NigeriaSubject: Re Fund ReleaseI am Mr. Donald Kaberuka, the President, AfricanDevelopment Bank.

This is to bring to your notice thatmy office has taking over all the money Transactionoriginated from any part of African and Europecountries as Contract payment, Fund Inheritance orLottery Winning due to Unauthorized/incapability offinancial Institutions/security companies In releasingsuch huge sum of money due to Fraud, terrorist andmoney Laundry activities going on world wide.

[… why must they go on and on?…]

You are therefore advised to forward your directtelephone numbers, Your complete name and your mailingaddress to Rev Kampson Lars for Immediate release ofyour money, Most importantly be aware that (TenMillion Dollars Only (US10, 000, 000.00) was allocatedto you, be also informed That the Fund Approvals andauthorization document Including AntiterroristClearance Certificate was issued in your name and hasbeen handed over To Rev Kampson Lars to release to youthrough any faster courier company, Therefore be awarethat your fund has obtained all her clearance to beReleased to you.

Finally Rev Kampson Lars is standby to receive yourcommunication and Release your fund to you throughInternational Cashier’ Bank Draft Without furtherdelay. Make your contact directly to Rev Kampson LarsThrough telephone number + ext 234####, Email-revlarsafdb2@yahoo.com, any time because we areworking 24 Hours to be able to meet with the mandategiven by the World Bank. It is more better that youmake your contact to Rev Kampson Lars Throughtelephone for more detailed information as he is avery bussy Man.

Thanks for Your Cooperation.
Mr. Donald Kaberuka (AFDB President)
www.afdb.org

I responded immediately, because I ride public transportation, and he is a very bussy Man…

Dear His Holiness the Honorable Reverend Kampson Lars:

I was pleased to receive the letter from His Excellency The Right Reverend President Donald P. Kaberuka McGillicutty. However, I am afraid there has been some mistake. His reverence mentioned that I would be release funds in the amount of Ten Million Dollars Only (US10, 000, 000.00) when, in fact, the correct amount is One hundred twenty-two million dollars only and thirty-seven cents (US122, 000, 000.37). Are you trying to cheat me!!! j/k lol!! 😉 This error is quite excusable as a typographical error. However, it appears your email provider has been affected by the random Spontaneous initial Capital Letter virus (Rsiclv). As I’m sure you might be able to understand, this concerns me in my utmost, being, as it were, in the position of which to collect said anti-terrorist certificate funding.

Also, I’m afraid the honorary president listed his office address incorrectly. This is also understandable. I sometimes get my own mixed up. Would you believe I accidentally had Amazon.com send my 22-volume DVD set of The Complete Matthew McConaughey to an ice hotel in Finland?! True story! (I don’t live in Finland!) Anyway, I’m sure you’ll be pleased to find your correct address in the “Contact Us” page of the African Development Bank website (thank you for the link! I wouldn’t not have spotted the error otherwise…).

I think you also may need some help with the BCC function of your email program.

Once you can ensure me these errors (aka spontaneous Capitalization and cream cheese) will not affect my funds, and also the additional $112,000,000.37 of my funds are correct, I will with great happiness and tingling provide you with my bank account number, social security number, telephone number, credit card number, mother’s maiden name and Matthew McConaughey DVDs in order to collect my Funds.

Warm and squishy regards,
C.H. (“Chunky Hunky”) Redwood, the Tree Trunk Hunk

I think I showed tremendous restraint.

P.S. Note the new category.