From Africa, for tax purposes

I feel like such a dumbass. His Holiness, the Reverend Kampson Lars replied to my reply, explaining that he was fully aware that my actual funding was $122 million, but—for tax purposes—it had to be broken into $10 million increments. He even got his address correct, and everything. Unfortunately, like an idiot, I accidentally deleted his email!

Luckily, after a few hours, he emailed again:

From: The Desk of the Telex Director
Rev Kampson T. Lars,
African Development Bank ,
No 12 Tinubu Square,
Lagos-Nigeria Office

Attention: Sir,

How are you? I have not heard from you since I sent you an email.

Yours faithfully;

Rev Kampson T. Lars,

Well, I didn’t want to keep him waiting.

To: “rev lars kampson”
Subject: Re: The Desk of the Telex Director

What up, Rev?

Thank you for contacting me again (i admire your persistance… and your deltoids!!). Sometimes I
forget which million dollars I am getting, so it is good for you to remind me.

I’m glad to see you got all the problems straightened out (e.g., address, letters, ex machina). I must admit I am skeptible about the whole “10million” vs. “122million” thing. But you seem like a cool guy, so I don’t want to be a dick, know what ah’m sayin’? I’m kidding, of course you do.

Please send my millions of US DOLLARS to:

Scammy P. Fraudencoch (it’s German? make a puke noise
at the end)
450 Golden Gate Avenue, Apt. B13
13th Floor
San Francisco, CA 94102

If you have any questions, please call me, 24 hours per day: America (415) 553-7400. Sometimes my roommate Ronald answers and pretends to be jerk on the phone (immature!). Just say (scream maybe?) “Let me talk to Mr. Fraudencoch!!!” and he will get me.

Tell me. Do you like juggling?

From my Fraudencoch to yours,
Scammy P.