They’re watching…

Honestly, I was a little afraid that the evil Nigerian scam artists were going to hunt me down and try to hurt me for wasting their precious time. And I may be right. What does Google Analytics have to say about visitors to www.ThisisConlan.com?

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Damn my selfish pride (and impeccable comedic instincts)! Now I’m scared.

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On the other hand…

Hey, Fraudsters. Cut it out, assholes! Who do you think you’re scamming? It’s not Wall Street fat cats or cocaine-addled celebrities. It’s stupid little old ladies living off a social security pittance, or the borderline mentally-ill. I realize you don’t care about fellow human beings; you’ve probably witnessed some pretty effed up stuff, probably don’t know who your father is, et cetera. I get it. But I just want to say, from one human being to another, and with the utmost sincerity, FUCK OFF.

The same goes for you in Latvia.