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October 2008

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10.31.08

Halloween is Evil History | (1)
I'm sorry, but I can't remain silent on this issue any longer: Halloween is the devil's tool, used to ensnare our children into baby-eating, electric car-driving, anti-homeschooling zombies ((Not literal zombies, but metaphorical, meaning they do not think like you. How about this new badass footnote system?)). Do you know the ACTUAL history of All Hallow's Eve? As recently discovered documents reveal, Halloween was started by Karl Marx in 1858 as a way to rouse rabble and rake muck among the proletariat, whom he ostensibly wished to support, but in reality wished to enslave. As he wrote 10 years earlier in his ...
10.25.08

Ask Conlan: LinkedOut Ask Conlan | (3)
Some girl, who apparently has a big head (her words), writes (edited for capitalization, punctuation, and linking purposes; no offense): I’ve had a LinkedIn account for like 7 months, and I don’t know how to use it or what it’s for... maybe you should write a blog about that like you did for Twitter, eh? Sincerely, The Other Half of the One In Yosemite Some Province, Canada Greetings, my great white friend to the north. I would be happy to guide you through the intricacies of the cultural phenomenon known as LinkedIn. The key to the future is—as it must be—the past. Started in 2002 by ...
10.25.08

The Bookshop Short | (3)
When I was in college, I worked at the college bookstore. One day a girl came in, took a pen off the shelf and brought it to the register. Then she took an old pen from her pocket. "I used up all the ink in this one," she said, indicating her old pen. "Can I trade it for this?" She pointed to the new one. "What?" I said. "Can I give you this old pen, and you give me this new one?" "Is this some kind of sociological experiment or something?" I asked. Turns out it was. And I ruined it. I didn't give ...
10.22.08

I’m going to [EDIT] this post People | (11)
Update 10/23/08: Rather than deleting any part of this stupid post, I have edited it to more fully represent the events of the day. I have retained all the original text in bold, striking through what was no longer necessary. Today I met my second favorite Twitter followee favorite Twitteree west of the Mississippi today. In person. In fact, I am here right now. She's in the bathroom. I have to post this before she comes back. It's a competition she insisted on for some reason unclear to me. She's kind of weird, I guess. But not in a bad ...
10.20.08

Ask You: WTF? Notecards | (2)
Dear You, I've got some questions for you/items that require your attention. 1. You may have noticed that, deep down on the lower right corner of the blog, in the least prominent place possible, I keep a list of links to blogs and things that I may or may not enjoy. Since my blog is one of "general interest" (i.e., not photos of my baby or cat—however much I do enjoy blogs about your babies and cats), I try to keep my blog list limited to such general interest websites and services. I just figure that you, with your baby cat blogs, ...

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