This Is Twittering: Meta-commentary Digest, Episode 1

I realize that not everyone is cool enough to use Twitter, and the little box on the right isn’t enough to stay up to date on my scathingly brilliant wit and warptitude. With this in mind, I am going to collect the best of the worst of my twitterings here, in a new segment I like to call “This Is Twittering: Meta-commentary Digest”. It also gives me a chance to commentate on my commentary, in chronological order (which I love, obviously).

Everything listed is original content, by me, unless it’s in quotes; then it is me quoting something. Categories include: STUPID (me being stupid), WISDOM (me being wise), REACTION (me reacting to something; probably a commercial I saw), and WORDPLAY (me talking about football). Let’s go.


I think “son of a beeswax” is a good expletive euphemism.

This is stupid, but also true.


Those who complain often about people “not accepting them for who they are” may want to consider not accepting themselves for who they are.

Because they probably suck.


The wisdom of a friend: “I hate when idiots act like themselves.”

This is not my wisdom, but a friend’s. Probably Nikko’s. And it’s damn true.


All these years, my skin’s been lacking luminosity and nobody told me!

And many hair products will wreck and ravage my hair. I had no idea these were industry-standard terms.


If you don’t align yourself with someone who hates someone else, it can get pretty lonely.

The enemy of your enemy is not only your friend, but increasingly your only friend.


You would be shocked by the amount of static electricity in my apartment.

The was a lot of static in my apartment at the time.


I just watched 15 minutes of TMZ and I think I caught the philosophical equivalent of gonorrhea.

Really, it’s obscene.

That concludes this episode of “This Is Twittering: Meta-commentary Digest”.