WORLD EXCLUSIVE Interview: Ashley Swearengin

The following is an interview I conducted with the newly-elected mayor of the great city of Fresno, Ashley Swearengin. This is such a scoop I’m not even sure if I’m legally allowed to post it, but I feel you, my loyal readers, deserve to know the truth ((Plus, who really reads this anyway? I mean, come on.)). And I feel I must emphasize: This is not made up.

This Is Conlan: What’s your favorite color?

Ashley Swearengin: For what application? [laughing]

TiC: Just in general, to look at.

AS: I’d say blue. Various shades of blue.

TiC: Mine too.

AS: It’s a happy color.

TiC: Yeah, I don’t know why it’s not a “happy” color, like why you say “I’m blue” to mean not happy.

AS: I know, huh? I don’t know… My eye is just drawn to various shades of blue, especially the way it contrasts with other colors. Yep, my bedroom is painted blue.

TiC: I hear ya.

There you have it, straight from the horse’s mouth ((This has never been more of a non-literal idiom.)). But don’t go spreading this info around until I’m sure I have my legal bases covered ((Also an idiom.)).