What I’m All About

Ever since my blog became cool (circa March 2008), I’ve never really addressed what I’m all about. A lot of stuff has happened in my life, and you, my faithful readers, are probably confused about it. Also, the state of public education being what it is, you’re probably confused about a lot of things, but we’ve got to take this one step at a time.

Everything you are about to read is true, except for the part about Angelina Jolie and escalator.

Last spring, I lived in San Francisco, a beautiful city (much beautifuller than your crappy city), and had a decent-paying job at a company in San Francisco’s historic Financial District (all districts in San Francisco are historic, unlike your pitiful excuse for a village). I was loving life, except that I hated it. Somehow my career had veered onto a managerial path, and I spent my days in a windowless room, staring at a buzzing computer screen, waiting for problems to arise—which they surely did—then trying to figure out how to solve them without the proper resources. The people I worked with were great, and taught me a lot, and somehow managed to keep up their spirits. But I just sat at my desk, with my headphones on, and clicked and typed and clicked again. It wasn’t quite the creative writing/editing career I’d envisioned.

After work, I would ride the bus home, pick up some gummy bears at the corner store, then settle in for the night. If I left the house at all on the weekends, I’d go to the coffee place next door, or maybe downtown to walk around, alone. It was lame.

So I decided—as I often do—screw it.

In July, I said goodbye to my job and to the city I love, and headed out to find my density. I moved home to the other city I love, my hometown, Fresno.

I needed to do some serious sole searching. Eventually I found the little pebble and dislodged it from between the treads. Now my shoes don’t make scraping noises when I walk anymore.

Also, I decided to do something stupid and crazy. I decided to try to follow my dream to the extreme. To work for myself. As a freelance PROFESSIONAL WRITER (and editor), which is what I’m doing now.

What I’m trying to say is, I’m taking this opportunity to launch my brand new Freelance page (still under construction), with samples and information about paying me to write things. Seriously, I need people to pay me to write things (or edit).

So, keep your ears open, dear readers. Keep your eyes slightly squinting (which can improve your sight, in certain cases). Keep your thumbs on the grenade handle or it will blow up. Keep the asses in the seats. Keep your whites and darks separate unless you want pink underwear (which you may). Keep your nose to the grindstone to spite your face. One time I saw Angelina Jolie on an escalator. Keep your eggs in one basket if you only have one basket. Keep a song in your heart and a math problem in your head. Keep a piece of meat in your pocket so you can say that’s what the drug dog found, not methamphetamines. Keep my URL close at hand and loose in the pants. Keep your chin up and your cholesterol down. Keep mementos of those you love and, above all: Keep it real.