This Is Twittering: Meta-commentary Digest, Episode 6

It’s time for another episode of “This Is Twittering: Meta-commentary Digest”.

WORDPLAY:

People who prefer NASCAR over the Kentucky Derby are racists.

Someone pointed out to me, this joke doesn’t work because the Derby is a specific race, while NASCAR is a kind of racing league. Then I pointed out to that person: “shut up.”

WORDPLAY:

You can always count on me. Up to 20 if I’m wearing flip-flops. To 21 if I’m nude. (Inappropriate!)

More than enough said.

WISDOM:

Writing is hard. Although, it’s not as hard as actually doing something.

This is just plain true.

WISDOM:

I’m my own harshest critic… I’m also everyone’s harshest critic. So quit being so stupid.

This is even more true. Seriously. Cut it out.

WORDPLAY:

Writing means killing your babies… No, wait. I’m thinking of “infanticide”.

I had to leave out some badass sentences I wrote for an article because they just didn’t fit. It sucked, but the piece was better for it overall. Here’s another baby that I (this time accidentally) left out of a recent article: “Her smile is practiced, but her eyes are alert and sincere.” (Also, infanticide.)

WISDOM:

All the coolest people are dead.

Duh.

STUPID:

I don’t drink tequila, but if I did I would put gummi worms in it. (not a metaphor)

Since I wrote this, I have drunk a little tequila. Unfortunately there were no gummi worms around.

That concludes this episode of “This Is Twittering: Meta-commentary Digest”.