It’s time for another episode of “This Is Twittering: Meta-commentary Digest”.
People who prefer NASCAR over the Kentucky Derby are racists.
Someone pointed out to me, this joke doesn’t work because the Derby is a specific race, while NASCAR is a kind of racing league. Then I pointed out to that person: “shut up.”
You can always count on me. Up to 20 if I’m wearing flip-flops. To 21 if I’m nude. (Inappropriate!)
More than enough said.
Writing is hard. Although, it’s not as hard as actually doing something.
This is just plain true.
I’m my own harshest critic… I’m also everyone’s harshest critic. So quit being so stupid.
This is even more true. Seriously. Cut it out.
Writing means killing your babies… No, wait. I’m thinking of “infanticide”.
I had to leave out some badass sentences I wrote for an article because they just didn’t fit. It sucked, but the piece was better for it overall. Here’s another baby that I (this time accidentally) left out of a recent article: “Her smile is practiced, but her eyes are alert and sincere.” (Also, infanticide.)
All the coolest people are dead.
I don’t drink tequila, but if I did I would put gummi worms in it. (not a metaphor)
Since I wrote this, I have drunk a little tequila. Unfortunately there were no gummi worms around.
That concludes this episode of “This Is Twittering: Meta-commentary Digest”.