12DB, Day 4: This Is Twittering: Meta-commentary Digest, Episode 7

Congratulations. It’s time for It’s time for another episode of “This Is Twittering: Meta-commentary Digest”.


For religions where dancing is prohibited, is Restless Leg Syndrome considered demonic possession?

This is a joke, but it’s not hard for me to imagine it being true.


If you love staying in hotels so much, then why don’t you _Marriot_?

Here’s an old joke of mine. It works better when spoken of course, but it is still pure genius.


If I were ambidextrous, I’d never let anyone know. That way I could commit the perfect crime.

This is a bit of nonsense that is also a good idea. I know what you’re thinking: “Conlan, are you ambidextrous or not?” Well, my friend, you’ll never know… until it’s too late.


If a deaf person falls in the forest, does he really?

This is just good comedy. I heard that some people may have been offended by it. If that’s true, those people don’t understand comedy. It’s not a joke about deaf people or deaf people falling down (despite how hilarious that would be); the joke is in the subversion of the old zen cliché. Although maybe that’s the offensive part. Namasté.


If Schrödinger’s cat is in a box in the forest and no one’s around to see it, is the cat really simultaneously dead and alive?

This one’s for all the theoretical physicists out there!


An ounce of prevention is worth a pound of cure. Unless the cure is, like, bed rest, which is free, so really the prevention isn’t worth it.

I know, I know. Bed rest, if it keeps you from your job, isn’t free, so this is not actually true. That’s why I labeled it “STUPID”. Lighten up. Plus, I’m a PROFESSIONAL WRITER, so it pretty much is true.


Yesterday I spilled some soda in my room, and now I have ants. Luckily it was diet soda, so it’s only the tiny ants.

I could have phrased this better, but you get it, right?


If your name is Nicole, Lindsa(e)y or Lauren, please change it. There are too many of you.

Seriously. I mean, come on.


Another note regarding Halloween: It’s a good thing I didn’t go as Manos The Hands Of Fate, because there were no single girls at the party.

When discussing potential Halloween costumes with my friend, I remarked that Manos (read: The Master) or Torgo from “Manos”: The Hands of Fate would make for good costumes, and that if a woman recognized the costume, I “would have to marry her immediately.” I was, however, exaggerating. She would also have to be hot.


I feel bad that my nice friends link to me on their family/friend blogs, so their nice grandmas click on me and find bad words and homosex.

I do worry about this, even though I don’t really discuss “homosex” very often. But it ended up fitting 140 characters exactly, so I went with it.

…On the other hand, a hit’s a hit.

That too.

That concludes this episode of “This Is Twittering: Meta-commentary Digest”.