Here we are again, with another episode of “This is Twitter: Meta-commentary Digest”.
My sister has been ovulating all over the house… that may not be the right word.
Technically, this could’ve been wordplay, but it’s too stupid. Actually, she was ululating, making strange, high-pitched singing noises. It was disgusting.
I’m hungry. The word for hunger in Spanish is “hambre”, which sounds a lot like “hombre”, which means “man”. Coincidence?
I think actually what I’m saying is, all Mexicans are cannibals.
The real Beatles were bigger than Jesus, but Beatlemania is only more on par with John the Baptist.
Beatles cover bands eat locusts and stuff, honey… I forget, but you know what I mean.
If I were a psychiatrist, I’d diagnose the world as bipolar.
Good one, Conlan.
Shoot for the moon. Even if you miss, the bullet will return to earth with the same velocity it had when it left the gun. Awesome!
Liz Lemon, in the mirror, before a party: “Stop sweating you idiot! What is wrong with you, you STUPID BITCH!!”
I’m considering suing for thought plagiarism.
I thought you should hear it from me: jokes about Nigerian scams aren’t funny anymore. I know. I’m sorry.
This is also true. I’m especially talking to you, TV!
Put the “X” back in Christmas.
This is deep on so many levels.
My standards are constantly smoking marijuana.
The question is, standards for what?
People who fake Amber Alerts should be tied up, gagged, shoved in a trunk for 3 days and then never be allowed to eat pizza again. Yes?
This is just common sense.
That concludes this episode of “This Is Twittering: Meta-commentary Digest”.