Update A-Go-Go

Well, it’s June and you know what that means. Time for my monthly blog update.

First of all, I was glad that the CA supreme court decision didn’t invalidate my gay marriage. My hope is that, if they ever overturn Roe v. Wade, they won’t invalidate all the previous abortions. I feel like that would upset a lot of women.

But you know I don’t like getting into politics. The government is just too annoying. Let’s talk about cars instead… oh. Shoot.

Well, how about, I’m thinking about buying a new house… uh oh.

You suck!

Ahem. Well, what is there left to talk about if we’re not talking about politics? I guess the only thing left is—

You’re not funny! Get off the stage!

Excuse me, ma’am. Do I come to where you work and knock the briefcase out of your hand?


Where are you from?

You suck!

Listen, lady. I’m just trying to make people laugh. Give me a break, OK?

Kit Kat Bar!

You’re drunk.

So are you! You suck!

You know, fifty years ago you would have been strung upside-down with a fork in your ass.

What does that even mean!?

I don’t know. I heard it somewhere.

Get off the stage!

I swear, this is the last time I try out new material in front of you, mom.