This Is Twittering: Meta-Commentary Digest, Episode 12

It’s been a long time since I did a TIT. I haven’t culled the stream recently, but here are some I already had in my queue.

WORDPLAY:

Thesaurus anagram: U. R U the ass?

If you use it to just pick the longest word, then yes.

WORDPLAY:

Let’s just say, she didn’t give me _his_ peas, OK?

This may have been too vague. It’s about herpes, see? I don’t really have herpes. Yet.

REACTION:

I just want @lonelysandwich to know that I love him. Not in a gay way. But in a I-wish-he-knew-I-existed way. Which I guess is pretty gay.

I love lonelysandwich. He actually sent me a direct message in response to this that said, “I love you too, Conlan.” But apparently not enough to @ reply me and make it known publicly. He treats me so bad sometimes. But most of the time he’s very good to me, so I keep going back.

STUPID:

You know, Earth Day isn’t really the Earth’s birthday. Studies have shown it was probably sometime in mid-November.

This actually isn’t stupid, but a rather clever joke about people who are stupid: people who think Jesus was born on December 25, and people who point out he probably wasn’t and think that somehow matters.

STUPID:

At Tokyo. You know what that means: love, European-style!

This actually is stupid.

REACTION:

Got my first website donation!

I’ve included this to remind you to donate. There’s a button over on the right side. I even changed it to black and white so it would fit in better with the look of the site. That’s service, people. This blog doesn’t pay for itself! Give me money!

REACTION:

I had a horrible dream that my iTunes library was disorganized.

This is true. I had this dream, and it was troubling. Luckily it was only a dream.

REACTION:

Irony, you win again.

I think this was when I’d made a typo after making fun of someone else who had done the same thing. It is also illustrative of my highly-desirable-by-women trait of not taking myself too seriously. Donate money to me!

STUPID:

Walking barefoot helps toughen up my feet for summer vacation. Music helps toughen up my heart for the winter break.

Again, this is not actually stupid. It is poetry.

REACTION:

I wish I were trapped on a spaceship with only sarcastic robots for company.

Sometimes I wish this more than other times, but I always kind of wish it.

WORDPLAY:

Plantar fasciitis = Nazi peanut?

This is funny. Give me money.

That concludes this episode of This Is Twittering: Meta-Commentary Digest.