I may have gotten mixed up. I apologize if I have posted these before. Actually, no I don’t.
I never thought I’d say this, but… Snurp flam piguna nyipe nyipe charoooo!
But very true.
If I gave you the option of either a ladder or a stepstool, would you choose the former or the latter?
This one is a classic joke I made up that doesn’t work in written form. Also, I think maybe my friend Matt made it up, not me.
What if I sweetened the pot by adding a little Splenda to the marijuana?
Thinking about getting a tattoo of my face on my butt.
And vice versa.
Superlatives are like laxatives. If you use them too often, you shit your pants.
This is not strictly true. It’s probably a metaphor. I think the pants are your soul. I think the shit is shit.
Superlatives are the worst.
This is pure gold.
People say “follow your heart” as if we don’t already do that all time. How about following your effing brain once in a while?
“No, because then I’d just be looking up and spinning in circles.”
Insult: you smell like a cocker spaniel.
Compliment: you smell like a bloodhound.
This is a joke.
That concludes this episode of This Is Twittering: Meta-Commentary Digest.