Ask Conlan: Dali Llama

A reader writes:

tried to & did go to “ask Conlan” on but couldn’t get a space to type in my question so here goes: 1) if the adjective for Equador is Equadorian why is “Salvadorian” not the adjective for El Salvador? 2) why don’t you call your mother more often? Love, your mother.

Thanks for your two-part question, your mother. I’ll answer it in four parts (non-chronological).

1. The adjective for Equador isn’t Equadorian. This is a common misconception, but it is actually Equadorial. What many people don’t realize is, Equador is a very thin country ((I mean this geographically; the people who live there are super fat.)) that stretches all the way around the world. It gets very hot there (possible because the people are so fat???).

2. When Alexander Graham Bell invented the graham cracker in 1876, it was not an immediate success. The cracker only became a hit with the public the following year, when the inventor founded Taco Bell. The original taco shells were made of graham crackers until 1913 (when they were switched out in favor of a corn-based cracker product). Like all inventors, Alexander Graham Bell died penniless and alone.

3. El Salvador? More like El Salvadon’t!

4. Phone calling is tricky business. I don’t talk on the phone very often. Sometimes I think I should call people more often, but then I wonder how they’ll know that I don’t care and I wish everyone would just leave me alone. I don’t want to send mixed messages. So, catch-22.

That’s all the time we have this week, dear readers. If you have a question you’d like to “Ask Conlan”, please consult a board-certified physician.