This Is Twittering: Meta-Commentary Digest, Episode 40

Today is This Is Twittering day!

STUPID:

This makes no sense, but it was pretty popular with the retweet crowd. Probably because it resonates emotionally.

STUPID:

If you have to have a bloodbath, try to make it as relaxing as possible.

REACTION:

Any time I see this kind of manipulative guilt-tripping, I get mad. Email forwards like this evoke from me a gut-level rage that’s completely disproportionate to the actual offense. Live and learn, I guess.

STUPID:

AGB wanted “ahoy” to be the standard telephone greeting (vs. Edison’s “hello”). If “ahoy” had stuck, I predict Hitler never would have risen to power. Prove me wrong.

WISDOM:

The “ahoy” joke was a relatively minor instance of this. I routinely think up jokes that require prior knowledge of at least two (often obscure) premises. Sometimes people may appreciate it as absurdism, and sometimes people may understand part of the joke, but I suspect a pretty limited number of people appreciate the full scope of what I’m trying to say. And that’s OK. The comedy starts to fall apart when it requires so much effort. But I still write these obscure bits, and here’s why:

  1. I’m goofing around. I’m not attempting to create high art. I’m just a dude who’s interested in language (and makes my living with it), so I like to experiment and play and create awful puns with it. Basketball players often learn all kinds of “useless” tricks with a basketball—spinning it on a finger, rolling it up and down arms, improbable dribbling techniques. These aren’t skills that players use in games, but I’d argue that it does make them better players with better control of the ball in different situations. Likewise, I’m not trying to produce practicable works of genius here. I’m just stretching my muscles and seeing what happens. Also,
  2. I personally get a thrill when I recognize someone else’s obscure reference. It creates an immediate rapport, and I feel more connected to that person even if I’ve never met them. I like the idea that someone somewhere is making that same type of connection when they read something stupid that I write. It’s a good feeling.

So that’s why.

WORDPLAY:

I don’t eat pudding, so this was just one big lie. But I think some pudding does have raisins in it.

WORDPLAY:

The apparent joke here is that “hero” is a type of sandwich, but really I just think it’s funny because it’s dumb and sandwiches are funny. When I try to think of a funny object, sandwich is the first thing that comes to mind. Also, they’re delicious.

WORDPLAY:

This is a joke about a French phrase in English.

WISDOM:

This is funny because crippling regret probably is worse than whatever temporary physical illness someone has.

REACTION:

This is a joke about confusing a movie with a hotdog eating contest.

REACTION:

I saw Jack White on SNL or someplace and he reminded me of Edward Scissorhands. As far as I know there is no Edward Scissorhands remake and, if there was, it wouldn’t be a music video. That makes no sense.

WORDPLAY:

Spoiler alert: it’s not worth it.

STUPID:

This toot happened because I thought it would be funny if someone thought Chicken Parmesan was variety of Parmesan cheese.

That concludes this episode of This Is Twittering: Meta-Commentary Digest.