This Is Twittering: Meta-Commentary Digest, Episode 48

“So… do you like… stuff?”

STUPID:

I like things that seem like they make sense, but then seem absurd, but then seem sensical again, but then don’t. This toot is not an example of that, which is why I don’t like it.

Just kidding. I like it. Also: I tried really hard to make this work without using any shorthand (because I’m opposed to that for some reason), but I had use the “w/” to “keep it unduh da one-four-oh” (as people on Twitter say). Life is about compromise, after all.

STUPID:

I think originally it was an eyelash, not hair, and cranberry sauce, not chicken soup. That would’ve been better, probably.

REACTION:

This is a joke about Harry Potter movies. I think it’s pretty funny—the idea that they hired an actor who didn’t have a nose to play the evil guy without a nose, and then that guy has to wear a fake nose for all his other roles. Gosh, that’s darn clever. Nice work, Conlan.

STUPID:

I tooted this on a hot day in April. It doesn’t make sense, and that’s the point, see.

WORDPLAY:

The clap: the silent killer. (This toot is funny. Please retweet and/or star it immediately.)

WORDPLAY:

Sacks of ovaries are a good mental image. Interestingly, in common parlance a scrotum is typically called a sac, not a sack. The word sac has more biological connotations. A sack is what you carry groceries in. So, it may be more appropriate to say “sac up”, but there are no hard and fast rules on the subject. Also: I don’t know what a sac of potatoes would look like, but I bet gross.

WISDOM:

Irony?

STUPID:

I don’t know if this makes sense. I don’t even know what I was trying to say, really. I just know that sometimes I have a strong urge to run over people who purposely step in front of oncoming traffic. I never do run them over, because then I’d be the asshole. Society is a funny thing.

WISDOM:

This is technically true.

REACTION:

But it’s only a victory for people who don’t particularly care about being right (or about the truth).

STUPID:

This actually would be funny. But I don’t know why.

STUPID:

Heroes never admit that they’re heroes. It makes you wonder: what else are they trying to hide?

STUPID:

I stole this quote from Eleanor Roosevelt.

Bye!