This Is Twittering: Meta-Commentary Digest, Episode 53

This episode contains toots from an extra sexy Midnight Dump I dumped, with lots of talk about sex and genitals and things of that nature. Parental discretion is advised and also pretty much nonexistent these days, am I right? What’s the matter with kids today? I’ll tell you: their parents!

STUPID:

See, I was trying to make a joke by saying something kind of misogynistic while complaining about misogyny.

WORDPLAY:

This is a sex joke. And it also makes perfect sense if you think about it.

STUPID:

This is pretty true. I don’t mind the topic of genitals as much as I mind the “Hey, look at me I’m so shocking I’m so subversive I can talk about naughty things and I don’t even give a care!” attitude that so often accompanies it.1

Speaking of which:

REACTION:

Lately, for whatever reason, this smutty (and, by all accounts, horribly written) book has become massively popular among women. I don’t really care if anyone reads it or doesn’t, but I noticed a lot of women talking about it. It struck me how many of these discussions weren’t really discussions, but more like announcements. Women seemed more excited about being in the 50SOG Club than they were about the actual content of book. And that reminded me of the way teenage boys talk about pornography when they first discover it; it’s exciting and it’s taboo and it’s essential to appearing cool in front of your friends. The fact that one has seen porn is more important than the actual porn itself.

In a way, it makes sense that this is the case with Fifty Shades of Grey, too. Historically, women haven’t been able to publicly embrace their sexuality the way men have (I’d argue that society allows men to “embrace” their sexuality too much, to the point that men are excused for horrible behavior just because boys will be boys). So, for many women, this literary phenomenon is the first time they’ve been able to openly admit to even being curious about this kind of stuff. It’s powerful because it allows people to feel subversive but also accepted into a community at the same time. It’s the best of both worlds, and the medium by which they get there isn’t all that important.

WISDOM:

Home is where the heart is.

WORDPLAY:

This is very, very funny.

That’s the last extra sexy toot. The rest of these are just normal sexy.

STUPID:

Some people probably thought I was making an actual point about sports, but actually I was just being dumb. I don’t think it makes any sense.

STUPID:

My point about “decent human beings” was kind of undercut by the inclusion of “pizza bagel”… Or was it?

REACTION:

Or maybe we can breathe underwater. Why hasn’t anybody ever tried this?

REACTION:

Tyra Banks is really awful. I assume she’s an OK person, but the way she acts just makes my skin crawl. I can’t even describe it. She’s like a combination of all the worst parts of Jenny McCarthy and Oprah.

WISDOM:

No they don’t.

WISDOM:

This does bother me. Why do we trust these people? Just because they passed a bunch of tests? Big deal. I’ve gotten good grades on tests by doing the absolutely minimum amount of work necessary, and then I forgot everything I learned. We’re all doomed.

That concludes this episode of This Is Twittering: Meta-Commentary Digest.

  1. Kind of like I’m doing right now. []