This Is Twittering: Inspiration Edition, Part 2

A few months ago I decided to satirize the cheesy inspirational sayings I see parroted all the time, online and off. But there’s a twist: although I tend toward pessimism on an individual level, I can’t shake the inkling of hope that we, as human beings, can be better. So, while a lot of these “inspirational” sayings are just dumb jokes, some of them are actually meaningful too. That’s why I’m expounding upon them here every day this week, and This Is Twittering: Meta-Commentary Digest: Inspiration Edition, Part 2.

Salt, like the spoiled milk from yesterday, all depends how you use it.

This is not a joke. I really do appreciate my Twitter followers’ time and attention. That’s why I try very hard to not suck.

This is a joke. Sort of.

Now we’re just playing semantics.

I like this one a lot. Yes, OK, challenges often are opportunities. But challenges are also hard. It’s OK to cry. (Just kidding. Crying is for babies.)

This is just good business.

No joke here. This was the day of that stupid movie theater shooting in Colorado.

“I am thankful that I am not dying of dehydration. I am thankful I do not have leprosy. I am thankful I’m fat enough to outlive the thinner people stranded on this desert island so that, once they die of starvation, I can eat them.”

That concludes this extra-special episode of This Is Twittering: Meta-Commentary Digest. Tune in tomorrow for Part 3!