This Is Twittering, Episode 72: Valentine’s Edition

Sometimes I tell jokes about love and lust and leprosy on Twitter and then later I explain them here (or usually just make more jokes), and This Is Twittering: Meta-Commentary Digest, 100% Special Valentine’s Day Edition!


I was reading about bands or something and it occurred to me how few women (relatively speaking) are in bands — at least in bands signed to record labels. I thought this must be a result of cultural pressures that suggest music somehow isn’t “for girls”. And then I thought: chicks in bands are hot. So I’m part of the problem, I guess? Or part of the solution, maybe.

(For girls.)

I do take some comfort in that.


In the context of Valentine’s Day: Just ask every teacher who’s ever gone to jail for being a scumbag.

What’s the deal with chicks putting up with assholes so much, Rihanna?

This bit of cynicism is exaggerated for effect. Not every polite guy is being nice for the wrong reasons. But there are definitely a lot of assholes who use faux respect to manipulate women. And there are lots of women who use various means to manipulate men. I guess my point is, we’re all horrible.

The ol’ switcheroo.


This would be really funny. Try it.

If you find yourself in a position to sincerely say, “Only God can judge me,” then this is probably true.

That concludes this special Valentine’s Day edition of This Is Twittering: Meta-Commentary Digest. Speaking of love, if you love me, you should check out (and subsequently pledge money to) my Kickstarter campaign to write a book called Mostly Lies. Thanks!