Sometimes I tell jokes on Twitter, and This Is Twittering: Meta-Commentary Digest.
WORDPLAY:
I believe "minimal lawn American" is the preferred gnomenclature.
— Conlan Spangler (@thisisconlan) November 25, 2012
Silent G’s are funny. (I’m talking about taciturn gangsters.)
WISDOM:
Remember how stupid you were 10 years ago? In 10 years, that's how stupid you'll be right now too. So maybe quit being such a dick.
— Conlan Spangler (@thisisconlan) November 27, 2012
This is true. We’re all stupider and smarter than we were or will be, so how about let’s cut each other some slack, OK?
WISDOM:
Conlan's Law of Mustache Jokes: As a discussion about mustaches grows longer, the probability of a joke involving Hitler approaches 1.
— Conlan Spangler (@thisisconlan) November 24, 2012
This is funny because it’s true.
WISDOM:
I believe in celebrating small victories. I also believe in beating myself up over small defeats, so it pretty much evens out.
— Conlan Spangler (@thisisconlan) November 14, 2012
This is funny because it’s true.
STUPID:
This holiday season, remember to buy only Spangler brand candy canes, not Bob's. My uncle Bob is a dirtbag and a traitor and a thief.
— Conlan Spangler (@thisisconlan) November 10, 2012
This is funny because it’s not true. (I have no connection to the Spangler Candy Company.)
WORDPLAY:
If I already had one soulmate and then I met another one, I think a funny thing say would be, "A girl like her is one in 500,000."
— Conlan Spangler (@thisisconlan) November 8, 2012
In a way, that’s even more impressive.
That concludes this episode of This Is Twittering: Meta-Commentary Digest.