I’m back. And I’m about due for another edition of Ask Conlan. The questions have been piling up.

Hey, Conlan. Where’ve you been?

Wondering in Wichita, NJ

I’ve been around. I got a real job since we last spoke. Well, not a real job. I’m still a writer, which is pretty fake. But now I’m just a copywriter at a real company, working regular hours and getting health benefits and whatnot. So that’s been taking up a lot of time.

Weren’t you supposed to write a book or something?

Sincerely,
Curious in Curlybeans, KY

No, you’re mistaken.

Oh, wait. You might be thinking of Mostly Lies, the book that was funded by over a hundred of my closest strangers and friends and which I’ve so far failed utterly to write. Yes, I was supposed to write that.

Here’s my problem: crippling self-doubt. Also, the stuff I’ve written for it is crap. Maybe there are some good bits here and there, but overall the impression I get is that it’s crap.

So I’m in a bit of a pickle. I feel guilty about not publishing anything, but also I don’t want to publish crap. That’s one of the reasons why I haven’t blogged in over three years—guilt. And embarrassment. I’ve even cut way back on tweeting. I feel like if I can’t write a book, I can’t write anything. I don’t mean I won’t write anything; I mean I can’t. I’m dried up. I’ve got nothing to say. I’m stuck.

Why are you coming back to blogging now?

D.L. in Jack’s Hole, ME

I want to be unstuck. And a friend of mine once told me that my writing makes the world better, even if only slightly. While that’s certainly debatable, I think it’s at least a worthy goal. So I’m going to try my best.

I may have nothing to say, but—historically—that hasn’t stopped me.