This Is Twittering: Meta-Commentary Digest, Episode 85

Sometimes I tell jokes on Twitter, then I add commentary here, and This Is Twittering.

REACTION:

I hope these women appreciate the gold they’re ignoring. Gold!

REACTION:

I follow candy developments pretty closely, and this is an interesting one. Presumably, companies want to deflect some of their blame for making people fat by suggesting that larger portions are for multiple people. It’s an interesting strategy. Also, this is a good joke.

WISDOM:

I think it’s funny to check on someone to make sure their dead, and it’s funny to prefer someone be dead. So this is funny for two reasons (assuming you like dead people).

STUPID:

Incel? More like inhair!

WISDOM:

This just makes me laugh. I’m a funny guy.

WISDOM:

What would you do if you were already dead? Imagine the freedom. You could do literally anything. I’d probably take a nap.

WISDOM:

Sorry, ugly kids, but you know it’s true.

WISDOM:

What I’m saying here is, it’s not a limited resource. Also, maybe something about castration?

WISDOM:

It’s simple.

REACTION:

Destroying the moon has been on my to-do list for some time.

WISDOM:

In reality, it would be an overactive spidey sense that would probably fail to warn you of approaching goblins.

REACTION:

Divorce is a funny thing.

WISDOM:

It’s easy to discount young people’s feelings because they are stupid, which they are. But that doesn’t make them less real. And feelings are powerful things. When you get down to it, maybe they’re the only things.

WISDOM:

This makes sense.

REACTION:

What I’m saying is, I stink. But this is a joke, so really I only stink in the figurative sense.

REACTION:

I write the best self-diss tracks in my head. They’re really catchy—lyrics, melody—like I wish I could write that well when I didn’t wish I was dead.

WISDOM:

Yes; punctuation.

WORDPLAY:

Did you know the library has over 40,000 books about the Earth being round, but only one about the Earth being flat? Why is that? Chem-trails. Look it up. But not at the library. Use the interNOT LIES. Crisis actors are coming to take away your sheep. Deep state. It’s simple.

That concludes this episode of This Is Twittering: Meta-Commentary Digest.