Ask Conlan: The Toughening

The nation of Japan writes: When the going gets tough, do the tough really get going? Well, Japan, this is an interesting question and there are two schools of thought on the subject. The antediluvians…

Ask Conlan: A man of letters

A reader from Moscow, Russia writes: Днем Рождения, Конлан. Вы знаете, почему все мои письма ищем, как это? Да, очень хорошо. чем ты думаешь? Боб, из России Thanks for your question, Bob. The truth is,…

Ask Conlan: The Deal

Someone writes: Hey, dude. You don’t blog for 3 months and then you come back talking about beer and you act like nothing happened? What’s the deal? Thanks for your question, someone. The long answer…

Ask Conlan: Areas

It’s that time again. Dear Conlan, I’ve been having issues with my… you know, my area. I tried to tell my mom about it, but I was too embarrassed. What should I do? Sincerely, Burning…

Ask Conlan: Kitty Meow Town

A reader (ironically) writes: Why am I never allowed to own a cat? Thank you for your question, Doug. This is a very interesting situation requiring the requisite non sequiturs (and therefore non sequitees, for…